- 10 Aug, 2024
- 0 Comments
- 4 Mins Read
“Soft Skills”
Oh how I loathe that term.
We are talking about vital human skills, these skills aren’t ‘soft’, they’re seriously important. With so many robotic and automated features taking over so many aspects of business and day-to-day jobs, it is paramount to have the best, most open, honest, confident, clear communication skill set you can, to actually remain in business or your job.
Here’s a few reasons why, broken down –
Easing frustrations and stress – It can be incredibly frustrating when you feel you are not being heard, instructions being ignored is one example of not being heard. It is equally frustrating and embarrassing when we are not understood, could you say that again?, is a common response when you are not understood.
We can project our power, or perhaps lack of it, through our voice, and those who listen to us can make judgments about many aspects of our life and whether they are ‘buying in’ to what we are saying. Do you feel like you have a voice around the boardroom? In meetings? Or even around the kitchen table?
How we articulate sounds, our pitch, tone, pace, use of pause, emphasis, and inflection all communicate many cues as to who we are, where we come from, and even what our intentions are. How do you come across? Whether intentionally or not. We build our confidence when we correctly articulate sounds, pronounce words and speak with an effective voice that is heard clearly, is interesting to listen to, and above all wins us what we are seeking.
Emotions, your voice and communication – What physically happens to your voice when you feel sad, frightened, anxious, angry or similar strong emotions is the muscles in your throat contract and tighten. This can feel like a lump in your throat or you literally can’t speak. You might experience voice wobble or sound like you’re going to cry, even if you’re not. And then you do because you sound like you are going to!
This makes things quite challenging when you are looking for help and advice about communication to lead a team, a voice with authority so you don’t get spoken over in meetings, putting nerves in their place and using them for your benefit. But you most definitely can improve any speaking or communication situation that you find difficult or challenging. Check out Find Your Voice, Find Your Words online course to see if anything in the curriculum resonates with you and try out the free video too.
You can have all the knowledge in the world about effective communication but there is no absolute one right way to approach a situation or a challenging person. Same with speech, I have very strong opinions about how to pronounce words or enunciate sounds and the sort of voice we should all be striving for, and this is backed up with research from a couple of universities mainly from the UK but also America, but my opinion could be completely different to yours.
Wellbeing and words – Do you feel anxious when you are met with what feels like confrontation? Do you freeze up? Go on the attack? Or do you want to just run away from the situation altogether?
These natural reactions come from the part of our brain that developed over millions of years ago. But now our ‘mammal’ brain has developed too, we can learn strategies to overcome the mind blanks when we are stressed.
By not being able to articulate clearly and confidently your thoughts, causes stress and unnecessary anxiety. The more you know about yourself the easier it is to find the strategies that work best for you to voice your opinion clearly, confidently and maintain an equilibrium within yourself no matter what is happening. Easier said than done!
As an employer, you will understand how anxiety and stress affect wellbeing, productivity, sick leave, productivity, and possibly even turnover. Learning these strategies to pass on to your employees is key to a happy and effective team.
Connectivity – An event! For some reason I always get a jolt of surprise to see an event coming up that’s at an actual location. So many webinars, not enough ‘events’.
While it may seem hypocritical because the majority of my work is online, I do recognise the importance of balance. It seems you can cut to the chase when communicating over devices. Way less small talk, it’s straight into the business at hand, which I quite like.There’s no jostling of body language, should I sit or stand? Invite those people over or what ? Social niceties maybe.
But we, as mammals, are social animals (ha ha). We do need to connect with others for real to make sure we have a sense of security and safety in the world plus for our own mental health.
If socialising (for business or pleasure) has become less and less because the more and more has become online, perhaps you could set the scales by attending an event. If B Corp is something you are interested in then check out the B Corp event coming up in Queenstown on August 28.
PS – To stop the wobbly voice thing, take a deep breath in through your nose, all the way down to the bottom of your ribs and out again. Do this three times then yawn. Then try to yawn with your mouth closed. Do these exercises before you go into the situation that is causing the ‘I sound like I’m going to cry’ thing. If you can take a sip of water before you speak.
