• User AvatarMiriam McKenzie
  • 09 Jun, 2021
  • 2 Mins Read

Triggers. Those things that make you go grrrr.


Or they make you clench your jaw, hunch your shoulders up around your ears (note – while a good postural technique is to make sure your ears are above your shoulders, they shouldn’t be UP near them). You might even lose your temper, react, in other words.

While we all have challenging aspects of our personality and when we work closely with people, including customers and clients, what can be the most challenging is our reaction. How not to be ‘triggered’ by what someone has said, or done, or how they chew their food or breathe. We can’t control what others say or do we can only control our reaction.

Learning how to respond as opposed to reacting is what’s key to effective communication. Not only the workplace but also at home, in our personal lives.

If we are met with any sort of behaviour that makes our life challenging, there are techniques you can learn to deal with it. It’s important to learn these techniques when you are relaxed so it’s easier to recall when you are stressed.

Anger is a secondary emotion so there is always some other emotion in behind it, as the primary emotion.  These emotions can be so fleeting we aren’t even aware of them and we just go straight to anger. Once again, breathing helps keep you calm under angry situations (and help you to calm down if it’s you who’s angry).

It also can be challenging not to be drawn into someone else’s issues/conflict/drama that actually we have nothing to do with.

One way to stop this from happening is to respond in a non-committal way. Saying “Riiiiight” and really drawing out the iiii sound will give the person time to draw breath and carry on without you haven’t to say anything possibly incriminating.

When it comes to dealing with issues or coming up against challenging people, take a deep breath (it will only take 3 seconds) and let it out slowly. These breathing exercises are in the training manual that’s currently free on Amazon (link at the bottom of this).

This week I am covering this very thing in a couple of workshops within a team. Team workshops are great because everyone hears the same message and discussions around what was presented as everyone will have a different take on it, will lead to the learning becoming more likely to be put into practice.

Say It Clearly has training options available as a service provider for NZTE. Which means you could qualify for up to 50% of the cost off your training. Email below for more info.

Find Your Voice, Find Your Words.